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Saturday, 11 October 2008

image for Santa Claus Vacancy / JobCentre Plus Is it cash-in hand or on the books?

Job Title FATHER CHRISTMAS / SANTA CLAUS

Ref : ALU /62734

Location : Lapland based / Worldwide distribution network

Hours : Christmas Eve : Dusk til dawn

Wage : MEETS NATIONAL MINIMUM WAGE

Work Pattern : Night shift

Employer : Grotty Grottos Ltd

Pension : ? Don't be silly

Duration : One night per annum

Description :

As Father Christmas you will be required to hold quality interviews with children visiting your grotto, sit them on your lap and give each child a present (?) then have your photograph taken with them.

If you can grow a long white beard in a few days and see yourself as Father Christmas in this festive, credit-crunch season we would love to hear from you. Male and female applicants are welcomed.

A full Father Christmas costume will be provided. This is a fixed term contract for November and December.
Ideal position for anyone with church choir or Boy Scout experience.

Successful applicants are required to provide an enhanced disclosure from the national police records bureau stating they have no past convictions for child molesting or engaging in sex with animals.

Disclosure expense will be met by employer.

Persons already on the sex offenders register are not eligible to apply.

Experience of working with reindeer and a sleigh and climbing down chimney stacks is desirable but training will be provided for the right applicant.

See www.dwp.gov.uk for more information or email a CV and covering letter to jobs@grottygrottos.co.uk or apply on line at www.grottygrottos.web

How to apply :

You can apply for this job by telephoning the North Pole / toll-free number 011111 1111111 or 01111 11111111 and asking for Harry the Elf.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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