Written by Judge Retort
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Saturday, 11 October 2008

To help in raising McCain campaign cash, John McCain has just announced a new line of fashion lipstick: Sarah Paladin Hockey Mom Lipstick.

The lipstick comes in several colors:

• Red State Red
• High Sticking Black and Blue
• Multiple Check Contusion Bruise Yellow
• Ice Skate Slash Crimson

But they only come in one flavor - "They taste like victory!"

And then he quickly back-peddled: "Uh...uh...not that I've kissed her-OR ANYONE-wearing it. Cindy! Yeah, I've kissed her. She wears it! I kissed her! Yeah, that's it. Whew-that was close... Can't wait to hug her again, though... Haven't been surrounded by so many babes since the old days back when I was buyin' at that hoppin' Saigon discothèque... What was it called? Oh, yeah: The Ho Chi Minh Tunnel of Love -- or was it the Ho Chi Minh Trail of Tears...?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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