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Monday, 29 September 2008

image for Dear Paraphernalia4YourGenitalia: Does Size, I mean, Presidential Size, Really, Really Matter? This little fella had a not so little fella, my little McFella

Dear P4YG,

I am a mature (let's be honest) an elderly white man who finds himself in a rivalry that he has dreaded all of his white life. Raised in a multi generational macho military family, I was always taught the importance of "size" and the fear that white dominance would be overshadowed by the frightening superiority of the African penile enhancing gene.

Now, I am literally fighting for my life against a much younger, taller and blacker opponent.

Is it possible that he and I have the same three inch, and slightly (let's be honest) shrivelled penis? Can I still win the election?

General McPatton JR

Dear Junior,

There is absolutely no truth to the racial stereotype about the superior endowment of African men. This neurotic fear had its origin in the guilt oppressors have and their imaginary exaggeration of the vengeful powers of the people they are oppressing.

But three inches!? You've got to be kidding!

Even Little Dick Nixon reached the tale of the tape at four and a half. Marilyn Monroe said that JFK was one Joint F**K.

If you think a six foot two, I don't care if he's a green man, forty something physically fit fella shares your gentalian dwarfism, your must be high!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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