FA Man : So Bothroyd, you have requested this personal hearing in relation to the Charge brought against you of Bringing The Game Into Disrepute, directing abusive and/or insulting words towards Head Boy Stuart Attwell, and you had the temerity to question what is clearly a perfectly valid decision made by one of our Prefects Nigel Bannister, I'm sorry Mr Bothroyd, but that's 50 lashes of the Cane, Trousers round you ankles please and bend over.
Aidy Boothroyd : Headboy? Prefect? WTF?
FA Man : Right that's another 10!, and not another word from you Bothroyd!
AB : It's Boothroyd, and the Cane? Look, I'm sorry but I am here because the Headb, Referee made an incredible mistake, awarding a goal, when the ball had actually gone out for a corner, and yes I was absolutely fuming, I still am, I could have lost my job because of the jumped uo little shitbag, and I should be getting an apology, but I'm on a disciplinary, it's a fucking joke!
FA Man : In all my days in the Service of our Queed and Country, I have never heard such insubordination, Sgt. Major Flipflop take this Private to the straight to the Glasshouse at Colchester.
AB : Private? I'm not in the fucking Army, but I'll be lucky to get a Job at Colchester after this fiasco, and the name is Boothroyd, B-O-O-T-H-R-O-Y-D!!
FA Man : So you're saying you're not Jay Bothroyd?
AB : Jay Bothroyd is Black.
FA Man : Oohh That's Racist, add that to the list, Matron will need extra soap to wash out this Potty Mouth.
AB : Right that's it, I've had enough of this shit, I'm off.
Two Minutes Later
FA Man : It's alright he left the Building?
FA Man : Works every time Personal Fucking Hearings who do they think they are…Right, next up, A Fit And Proper Person Test, for a Robert Mugabe, it can't be old Bobby from Rhodesia surely not? Well we don't need to waste any time on that one, just tell him he's in.