Written by Benny Boo
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Thursday, 25 September 2008

Terry Phillips. Not a known name of the times yet but will be remembered throughout them.

This is the interview with the person who attempted to become the most successful serial killer of all time.

On asked on how he came to be in this kufuddle the answer was as follows:

"Well it'd been a normal day at work and a fairly normal night in front of the telly. I was watching a show about a serial killer on a spree of killing gays, he'd done it as a new years resolution?! Quite a interesting watch. Then after that was one of them traffic cop shows, talking about road deaths and that. Then..then he says that some bit of road here or there had killed more than any serial killer. It hit me there and then, like my destiny or something"

(Boo) "So what happened after this..revelation?"

"I thought some road! some bloody road! your having a laugh I'm gunna do my whole bloody village. Just like that. The whole village. With that I went and sold my mondeo and with the £7,500 I got for it I bought 122 microwaves off the net and set to it. When they arived I stacked them on top of each other which took up most of the space in the house. With the doors open, set to full power and on a hour timer.The leathal radiation dose was in play"

(Boo) "Righty oh"

"So everything's set all I've got to do is flick the mains on, jump in the taxi and that's it. Success. Success I could smell it or rather that was the problematic thing. I couldn't. The fuse popped and would just not have it. It wouldn't stay up. I told the taxi to leave and got a sparks straight round."

(Boo) "Did these thoughts of destiny and perhaps that it was destined not to be come into your mind at all after this set back?"

"Not really I kept thinking just a hiccup just a hiccup. I was a bit nervous about the sparky coming round"

(Boo) "Well it was kind of inviting him round to see your plan was it not?"

"I'd decided to tell him it was for a artistic photo shoot, you know nice and calm ra ra ra. Then he says to me "why do they all need to be on to take photo's of them?" Then I knew i was in trouble I know he was on to me, he could see my whole plan trying to unfold so I punched him in the face. He proceeded to beat me down to the ground and told me not to get up"

(Boo) "So this really wasn't going very well was it?"

"No not very well at all, he called the police and when he got here I said I didn't want any trouble and confessed to the whole lot there and then"

(Boo) "I'm sure people will draw their own conclusion but what is yours"

"I was so close. I was so close, what a nightmare".

Indeed Terry what a nightmare. Mr Lane the "hero" electrician had this to say about the whole polava.

"All in a day's work, I couldn't work out what this dimlow was getting so agitated about then he punched me in the forehead so i gave him a few slaps back and called the old bill. I couldn't believe what started coming out of this idiots mouth when the cop got here... Amazing"

My thoughts exactly Mr Lane. Amazing.

Sleep easy brothers and sisters we're another nutter down.

Benny Boo

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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