Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 22 September 2008

image for SportsSphere Magazine (Vol. 1, No. 1) Tony Romo's Girlfriend

From The Dear Mr. Sports Sidekick Section of SportsSphere Magazine

Dear Mr. Sports Sidekick: How come we always hear quotes about baseball, football, basketball, and soccer but we hardly ever hear any quotes about hockey?

Just this morning I heard on one of the local radio sports stations here in Fargo, North Dakota that recently divorced baseball super star Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees was quoted as saying, "Well now that my divorce from Cynthia is final, I guess I should say that I'm lucky that I got to keep all of my bats, my gloves, my cleats, and my balls."

Two days ago I heard that Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo was asked if he thought that his girlfriend, Jessica Simpson was really as pretty as most men think and Tony replied, "Well let me put it this way, in my book, she'll definitely make it to the playoffs!" So Mr. Sports Sidekick how about giving me some hockey quotes, okay?

Gino 'Hockey Stick' Fanatelli,
Fargo, North Dakota

Dear Gino: Okay, you want some hockey quotes? You got 'em. Hockey helmets, $149.99; hockey skates, $169.88; hockey sticks, $179.99; and hockey pucks, $6.95. Hope you're happy. And you're welcome. Mr. Sports Sidekick

Coming in next month's SportsSphere Magazine: The Top 900 Rugby Cliches of All-Time.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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