Written by PP Rega
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Tags: Blind, Cars

Thursday, 21 August 2008

According to AP, "Electric and hybrid vehicles may be better for the environment, but the California Legislature says they're bad for the blind. It has passed a bill to ensure that the vehicles make enough noise to be heard by visually impaired people about to cross a street." I, on the other hand, have my own ideas to accomplish this:


1) Equip the visually-impaired with helmets and rubber suits.

2) Allow the culprit cars on the streets from 6AM-11PM and the visually impaired from 11PM -6AM.

3) Mandate only stupid people can drive these cars so that the visually-impaired can hear the rattling from the drivers' brains.

4) Have the drivers yell, "Quiet car, quiet car," out the window every 1/4 mile.

5) Put marbles in the hubcaps.

6) Make the bumpers out of a marshmallow-goose-feather composite.

7) Put "Flubber" in the gas tank so that the cars can drive 10 feet above the ground.

8) Evacuate all visually impaired people to Nevada.

9) Tie an angry duck to the hood of the car.

10) Let's just say, "Screw it. You can't solve every problem in the world."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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