No, I am not talking about the garbage decomposing in your backyard; I am talking about you and your trashy white or black ass. Here are the ABC's you need to ask yourself when pondering whether you are that red neck on the block:
Asses are something to let hang out of everything
Bras are for stiff elitists; let's just go all-natural!
Cussing out every person in sight in public is sure way to win you the 'best friendly neighbor' award
Dubya is your hero!
Eating everything in sight 24/7
Family reunions start meaning more to you than ever-because it's your only dating hopes.
G is for want to be Gang banning whiter than sour cream hicks
Hell Hole: Your home's nickname
Jerry Springer: Your idol and personal consular
K is for membership with the KKK, you don't know what it stands for or the purpose, you just think it sounds cool
Literacy is something you struggle with, and you are having trouble reading this
Mooning in public when you are supposed to be mowing the lawn-and your wife wonders why there are so many weeds!
Nudity is something you are perfectly comfortable with-to the point of taking your naked fat ass to your future employer and asking for a job
O is for the opiates that have become a necessity for your life
Pole dancing/Prostitution becomes more than just a temporary job idea, but a lifelong career option
Quietness is for fagots-Yell and scream till you wake up the dead to get what your heart desires
Racist statements are the best way for you to make friends
Swear words fly out of your mouth faster than you can say "Dammit!"
Toilets become more than a bathroom fixture-how about front lawn art!
Underwear becomes outerwear
V is for your personal Vendetta with everyone that gives you the 'fuck off and die look' for no reason
Washing your body is only a birthday event
You go to church on Sundays and do your married neighbor on Monday
Z is for not Zipping your Zipper on your pants-it needs to breathe too!