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Sunday, 17 August 2008

image for Driving Miss Osama Driving the Most High Terrorist Lord

It turns out that Osama Bin Laden is really a cranky old southern Saudi Arabian lady and her chauffeur is not really that different from the genteel character Morgan Freeman played in the film of a similar title. The trial transcript seems to confirm this rather unexpected observation. When asked by the defense to reproduce a typical day driving Miss Osama, the court transcript showed the following:

Salim Hamdan: Where to boss?

Miss Osama:( pedantically) Now Salim you know I don't like to be called boss! Please address me by my preferred title!

SH:(exercising patience) Sorry, Maam. Where to Most High Terrorist Lord, Massacre-er of the Infidels!

Miss O: and...

SH:( in a tired voice) Oh yeah...who worship the Great Satan!

Miss O: Much better! Let's drive down to the market to pick up a little couscous and check on the latest suicide bomber.

SH: Yes Maam...er I mean MHTL...MI..WWGS..

Miss O: After that I'd like to stop at that nice butcher for some fresh lamb shanks...you know the one I mean?

SH:(mumbling) Yeah the one who fawns all over you and smells like dirty goat...

Miss O: What's that ?

SH: Abdul's Freshest Meats?

Miss O: Yes that's the name...O and could we go round to the internet cafe I have some emails to send to my vicious terrorists planted throughout the so called free world that I detest simply because they are free!

SH: Yes Maam, er you know what I mean your Most High but you know how bad the traffic is around that cafe...Can't we go there tomorrow?

Miss O: O sure and let my worldwide terrorist plot collapse all around us because my driver is too impatient to wait in a little traffic. This is the kind of nonsense an Islamic Fundamentalist Revolutionary has to put up with!

SH: (murmuring) you forget I knew you when you were driving a camel, you old coot!

Miss O: Stop that mumbling what are you saying you useless old man!?

SH: Just singing my afternoon hymn to Allah, my Most High...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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