United Kingdom, July 2008: The Managers and Editors of TheSpoof, wish to inform the writers contributing material to this publication of appendages to the point counting system now in place. This step has been taken to level the playing field for all writers, so to speak.
What are points and how do I get them?
Points are given for various reasons (additions are highlighted):
1. Contributing (in other words, writing stuff)
2. Success (in other words, how often the stories get read, passed around, rated and so on)
3. In stories involving male or female body parts which come in pairs, the number of hits will be divided in two, e.g. when boobs or testicular fortitude is involved.
4. In stories involving other single male or female anatomical appendages or depressions, respectively including buns, the number of hits will be reduced by 25%.
5. In stories having no sexual content or fantasies, written by prudes or "sanctimonious twits" a full 100% of the hits will be counted.
6. Tactfully bawdy stories by people who swing both ways, regardless of race, color, creed, gender or national origin are to count as the full 100% of hits.
The numbers involved and the algorithms for defining the numbers of points you gain are undisclosed at this point. Needless to say, people contributing stories to the same level are likely to gain very similar numbers of points and move up and down the Top Writers board to the same effect.
Thank you for your indulgence.