July, 11, 2008
Dear Editor of The Spoof:
My wife suggested that I write a brief thank you note to your publication for helping to restore a balance to our marriage.
I retired as a hit man for the mob several years ago. Since in doing my job I was never at home, was always traveling, hanging out in bars, standing on street corners, residing in seedy night spots or tailing people, my wife and I grew apart. In retirement, I continued to hang out on street corners and visit bars. My wife "said get a life" or else.
Thus, I bought a personal computer and began to write political nasty grams to congress, to the president and occasionally to the Supreme Court over issues that raised my blood pressure. My wife was still not satisfied, as to relieve tension I still went to bars.
Then I discovered The Spoof! I continue to write nasty grams, from home, about what politically troubles me about congress the president and the Supreme Court. I sit in my underwear all day with several six packs by my side. My blood pressure is stable and my wife is extremely happy that I am always at home.
With warmest regards, please continue to publish my stories and keep my wife happy such that I won't have to resume my previous profession.