Written by Kent Pete
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Saturday, 5 July 2008

image for Your Horoscope: Gemini Gemini

Your Horoscope with special guest astrologer Burt Bacharach

You will find that discipline and organization with a bit of a dramatic flair are exactly the things that you need in order to be successful this week. However just because you may need to be practical doesn't mean that you should be stern and grumpy. So even though that N.H.S. Health and Safety report has to be in by 10 o'clock prompt on Monday morning doesn't mean that you should be short changing your partner sexually over the weekend.

Remember what happened last time you failed to live up to your early sexual promise? You did not see them for dust did you. Rumour has it they are now living in Hertfordshire with three lovely children and have never been happier in all their lives. Just a thought!

On a more positive note, with your planets now entering Jupiter, it is now probably safe to start buying cheese again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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