Written by Kent Pete
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Thursday, 3 July 2008

image for Your Horoscope : Cancer Cancer

Horoscope with guest Astrologer Sir Geoff Hurst

You may be feeling reluctant about committing to anything major today Cancer. Your natural tendency is to be hesitant toward those who promise grand and wonderful things. This is hardly surprising given your track record with the opposite sex [or same sex, if you happen to be of a gay personage]. Let's face it, you have never really read the signs too well have you. Your lack of social skills has always been a potential problem and to be brutally honest one cannot completely rule out Asperger syndrome.

Basically there are a lot of people out there trying to do you harm this month and it is probably best to stay inside for long periods of time if at all possible. Don't be surprised if a great number of people start trying to sell you Tupperware .For God sake, don't buy into anything without being aware of all the facts first. There is a great deal of cheap imitation plastics out there at the moment so put your money away. It is also not a good week to radically change your diet. With your moons in Neptune, almost anything could happen in the plumbing department.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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