Written by Flaminroids
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Tags: Meeting, Women

Sunday, 29 June 2008

Tired of being constantly rejected? Need expert advice on meeting women? Well maybe you should consider what I have to teach you. For many years I've lowered the bar on meeting women. By using my patented "She'll do" method of hooking up with whatever will show interest, you will no longer feel lonely and start feeling a slight burning sensation when you pee.

First of all you need an edge. Women don't like guys who are respectful or polite. Nothing makes a woman feel special like complete lack of self respect. Let a woman know right away that she can't do any better and make it clear just how low her self esteem is. It literally drives them crazy.

Now that you have an edge, you need the look. Most women will sleep with a man based solely on what kind of vehicle you drive. If you can't afford a big truck or an exotic sports car, then you may have to focus on what you wear. Women like men who look like every other asshole who's contributed to destroying their lives. So go to a local sports bar during a yankees game and take notes.

Next you need to find a place to meet them. A bar is always a sure shot, but you will also have to compete with other alpha male assholes. If you feel unsure of what a total douche bag you can be, you may want to try the internet. Myspace is great because most women on there are very immature and lack any direction.

However if you feel skilled enough to start at the bar, remember to be patient. When you first start out it may be best to wait till some chick falls off her bar stool. Usually around last call. She may not remember you the next day and not want to have anything to do with you, but you will get some practice on using women for sex. And it is essential to your training.

Remember to try your best to talk down any man who may be a threat to you getting your swerve on. Women also like it when you pick fights in public. It makes them feel "safe". It also shows just how irrational and compulsive you can be and women hate nothing more than logic and self control. Its a sure way of letting them know they will get the life they always wanted, living in a trailer with an abusive prick who mixes cement for $9 an hour.

I've compiled a list of types of women this method is most effective on. Studies have shown that a few women actually require you to be a decent person with some sort ambition, and will not put out. These women are called "bitches" and "lesbians". Heres the ones you want to look for.

Hot older chick - Who's at the bar on a wednesday, again, while her kids are at her parents. Again. These are a rare find because they usually know they are hot and you have to catch them in the few days they are between relationships. Typically they can't afford to take care of themselves, so if you can act like you are financially secure, they will do what they do best. Put out right away in hope you will be dumb enough to stick around.

Young drunk chick- If a woman is an alcoholic before she is even old enough to drink then jackpot! These girls will be most likely to have an abusive controlling father and thanks to her illogical mentality, sleeping around will be a way of getting back at him. You will have to deal with alot of talking and crying before and during sex, but chances are they will be freaky nasty.

Fat chicks- Nothing wrong with big girls. In fact most fat chicks have the sex drive of a 13 year old boy. And will take it anyway they can get it. Most fat chicks are used to getting ditched afterwards so theres no hard feelings if your friends find out and you have to cut her loose. In fact just eye contact is all you need. This is more of a beginner level.

The rebounder- Rebounders are like a box of chocolates. You never know what name you're gonna get called in bed. And more often than not they are perfectly stable women who got talked into sleeping with some random asshole (could be your lucky day!) by her girlfriend, who is a total whore and would like her to be one also. Perfect for one night stands because they always go back and leave you off the hook.

Now there is way more to know than what I had time to teach. So just take the little nugget of advice and go out there and see if you can validate yourself as a man by being the total pud every woman dreams of changing.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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