Written by IN SEINE
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Monday, 16 June 2008

image for College Drinker's Alphabet A is also for ale

A - Alcohol: The key to surviving college.
B - Beer: The most disgusting alcohol of all, but great for chugging.
C - Class: What you're supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party.
D - Dancing: A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic.
E - Emergency: The keg is empty or there is no one over 19 in your drinking party.
F - F**ked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out.
G - Games: Anything that involves cards, dice, quarters, and chugging beers.
H - Hangover: Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank.
I - Idiot: The guy that spilled his beer on you and everyone else at the party.
J - Jail: Where you'll end up after trying to either use a fake ID or stagger home.
K - Kissing: What you'll do to anything that moves after 15 beers.
L - Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol.
M - Money: That which you no longer have due to too much partying.
N - Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don't know.
O - Officer: Person usually responsible for ending any party, tending to show up most often at parties where no one is 21.
P - Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you're drinking beer.
Q - Quilt: What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning (YUCK!)
R - Reform: What you promise God you will do while you're puking in the toilet.
S - Sex: What you did with that person you met last night while you were drunk.
T - Ten: The number of beers it takes ME to get drunk.
U - Underage: Most of the drinking population at any given college.
V - Vodka: The mother of all alcohols and the best way to get drunk in an hour.
W - Worm: The part of tequila that reminds you of biology class tomorrow.
X - X-Ray: How they can see into your stomach before they pump it.
Y - Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every weekend.
Z - Zoned: Your condition for the next 12 hours following drinking.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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