Written by Midgetgems
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Friday, 6 June 2008

image for Source Of Nile Goes Deep Prof. Alvarez, last seen floating

From our Honduras correspondent:

Working in often difficult and cramped conditions, Professor Guiliana Consuela Alvarez, a strikingly beautiful thirty-one year old, examines her oxygen tank. We are three kilometres below the surface of Lake Yojoa which at its deepest point was previously thought to measure only fifteen metres or so. The deep shaft she found in 2004 she believes to be the source of the Nile and is keen to show me the proof, I being the first European journalist to express an interest in her story.

Since discovering the shaft in this naturally volcanic region, the last four years have been spent painstakingly restoring a redundant submersible trawled off the lake floor by local fishermen. This being my first dive in such a craft, she laughs off my nervous questioning about safety issues, flicking and gently chewing her auburn hair.

"My governemente, they refuse me funding for such an important project. I have wait many years for this momentito" she assures me. I pass her a spanner and we prepare for the "adventure of a lifetime" as she begins to unbolt one of the side panels. Suddenly and without warning, everything goes black, the worst thing she said could happen.

A week later I am discharged from hospital and make my way back to the airport past smiling and, some would say, smirking and giggling families, though visitors unfamiliar to local customs will not have heard from people like Professor Alvarez, that this is just their way of greeting 'gringos'.

(Note: This will be our last South American bulletin until further notice)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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