A recent poll carried out by the highly respected MAAN (Much Ado About Nothing) organisation has revealed that most opinion polls are actually completely irrelevant and unreliable.
This particular poll, carried out in a branch of Threshers, asked three people what their opinion was of opinion polls. The results from this cross section of the community, especially cross at being prevented from choosing their favourite Pinot Grigot Del Veneto by a woman with a clipboard, revealed:
9 out of 10 owners said their cats preferred Kitekat - why did they only ask 10 owners?
On average, a pedestrian is knocked down at a pelican crossing every 2 hours - they want to know who is this rather stupid pedestrian who keeps getting knocked down every 2 hours?
And who will take ultimate responsibility for the chemist shop owner in Gewnt who shot a customer after having been asked for the umpteenth time for "nothing", because 'Nothing acts faster than Anadin'?
And why is there so little difference between irritable bowel syndrome and Jonathan Ross?
Answers on a postcard please……!