Written by Zander Kaufman

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Tuesday, 25 May 2004

Hate mail abounds when you hit a nerve. I think I hit a main artery with a article entitled “George Bush announces plan to curb abortion by aborting mothers”

I received a real nice juicy one from a Tim. B from Augusta Georgia, last name withheld. Tim Wright’s

“Where in God’s Green earth do you get off writing about our President, he loves the Lord, he’s a God fearing man. How dare you write lies about him, you sick dirty FUCK!!”

Now take in mind it took me a while to fix some of the many spelling errors. Oh, and thank you so much for sending me a copy of the same email 27 times. Just one more thing before I answer your query you are God’s own warrior right? Then what’s with this FUCK!! thrown in there? Well anyway to answer your question.

Tim, are you sitting down? Ok I’ll wait a minute…….ok I’m still waiting…..Tim your making this hard for other people reading this…..come on Tim………..OK that’s better.

Dear Tim. B Ok first of all I don’t live in the earth I live on the earth, and another thing you should note, the earth is not green anymore. No really it’s true. A couple of your oil buddies down from Texas have put a stop to that green earth business.

Seconded, how do I get off? No one said that I did. Do you mean how do I get away with it? Well it’s simple, I get away with it because no one is stopping me. Mister Ashcroft say yet to serve me with a warrant for my arrest. The house of un-American activities is no more.

Hope that answers your question Tim.

Do you have a question for a white middle American bastard like myself? Feel free to send me any ponder that you may have. No Joke.

Send your inquires to zanderkaufman@yahoo.com ATTN: Ask a Liberal Bastard.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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