Written by spazzlepadazzle
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Tags: Candy, sugar

Monday, 12 May 2008

image for Part 3 "The eel's plan" Oh so many eels

This story tells the woebegot tale of 'Andy Pandy Sugar And Candy Big Smile Sam Spanker Steph Lover Fluffy Silky Moo' hereafter to be known AS APSCBSSSSLFSM and that of those he meets on the journey of his life.

This tremendous epic was compiled during many…many…many boring business lessons by myself and my buddy Emma (with bits done by Moorsey, he was the one who kept bringing back Jayjay so I kicked him out).

Created by the simple process of her writing a bit and then me writing a bit and then her etc.

I hope this explains it's somewhat piecemeal effect especially at the start (it gets better I swear) and the complete lack of grammar.

Much of what happens refers to what happened during the day so if you don't get a bit just skip it. Ummm, I think that's it, apart from the promise that I will write something 'propper' for the site when I can be arsed lol.

You see jam mucus was a stooped fool who could not type right. So when he started writing hate letters they sounded like a cat screeching up a dog's backside. So the next day when the sun finally came out shining brightly he brought himself a leaf made of purest jelled hair in the whole universe. Jellied eels would fight over this leaf, and so, he concocted A Plan. The plan was to eat a million millions for he really liked the bubblegum flavoured ones. With all of these inside him he became a rattle that when shook attracted rattle eels. Dun dun dun.

"Where's that music coming from?" said jam mucus.

"It came from my eyelashes," replied the eels, rattle and ordinary.

This was an amazing revelation!!! He could sell the talking/musical eels for some more millions!!! They could become billions. So off he skipped all the way to Jamaica. The problem was that the rest of the world did not stand still. APSCBSSSSLFSM was becoming worried about the fact that his archenemy appeared to be building an army of eels, he was not to know that jam mucus was now so obsessed with sqillions (as they are now known) that he had completely forgotten about his vow of vengeance.

What a fool how could he of forgotten plan b to use his sausages to make the eels angry so they would attack APSCBSSSSLFSM. APSCBSSSSLFSM knew that if spam mucus remembered he was a dead duck walking.

A dead duck walking is equivalent to a cheetah slow motion running have you ever seen that its booooring! APSCBSSSSLFSM did not want to end up like that so he decided to finish off jam mucus once and for all. So he got Jeremy Clarkson to run him over again and again and again. Poor jam mucas I mean err die die die!!!

Is this the end of jam mucas, finally, lets ask bemmerly barrison the big gay cucumber "yes". So that's that, back to the story.

After slaughtering jam mucas mercilessly we go off to a foreign country known as yemin.

To find out what happens in Yemin read the next installment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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