Written by Zander Kaufman
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Monday, 24 May 2004

image for Imprison this! “Kaufman’s 30 second guide to living”

Imprison this!

Can someone find me a dictionary?

Wow! I have to give it to the Bush spin doctors. Yesterday I saw a story on CNN or as the far right call it Clinton News network, sure I wish. But none the less I saw a story where in which about twenty Iraqi’s were “Falsely Imprisoned.” we’re not talking fools gold here because I’m sure they have a blue light special on it this month.

Have I fallen asleep for the last few years? I’m a Ichabod Crane?
The words “Falsely Imprisoned” is it just me or what did the whole coalition and by that I mean the US,UK and two sausage eaters from Denmark do with “wrongfully Imprisoned?” yes another soft word slipped in under out noses.

Yes the word “False” it sounds like a game show, Family Feud, The Smiths Vs. Absheid’s, only when your appoints get more false answers and loose they don’t go home on there marry way. No, they arm them self’s, strap bombs to their bodies and come to your home on a Saturday afternoon and well you can probably figure out the rest out yourself.

But off you go your marry way bomb a wedding party you call it “Collateral Damage” and by the way even if it’s true, don’t feel so bad I’m sure there’s lots of relatives you’d like to see accidentally “Knocked Off” how about that 105 year old hunch back who can’t remember your name, don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to see him go.

This has been your weekly instalment of “Kaufman’s 30 second guide to living” tune in next week to find out why the short die young.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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