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Monday, 21 April 2008

image for English Majors Debate "Zipless Fuck" Symposium cover boy, Zippy Zipperstein

At the annual convention of jobless English majors, now a clear majority of that prestigious grouping, the most popular symposium was one debating the meaning of the phrase, zipless fuck in the seminal feminist novel "Fear of Flying" by Erica Jong.

Evolutionary biologist- literary critic, Dar Wynn read a persuasive paper that claimed that in many species the act of intercourse can make a kind of zipping sound and that Jong was referencing the ability of some species to copulate without the zipping.

Sexologist, West Ruthenheimer laughed at the crude physicality of Ms Wynn's thesis and advanced her own neo-Freudian complex:" Clearly the zipless fuck is a reference to the frustration I, er, I mean, Ms Jong suffered from the premature ejaculation suffered by her first lover at the time of the novels composition. She dreamt of a lover who would not fuck so zippy-ly and thus the zipless fuck would last all night or at least the five minutes it would require her to get her groove on."

Adolescent, adolescent psychologist, Adele Essence snickered at the complexity and the scientism of the previous presentations:" A zipless fuck as any teenie will tell you is what we used to call a dry fuck about a week ago. The guy, gal or any combination there of climbs on board jeans in tact and rubs to each others hard-ons' content- zipper zipped!" The symposium was abruptly cancelled as all this dirty talk sent the assemblage running for someplace to try out their own particular literary thesis.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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