The Virgin Mary (second name unknown), has said that she cannot remember much about the night of her 'immaculate conception', because she was pissed out of her mind on cheap vodka.
"I was a little tipsy that night", the Holy mother admitted in an interview with Playboy magazine, "myself and my boyfriend Joseph were a little worse for wear, I must admit".
"I was seeing all kinds of crazy sh*t", she adds, "dancing pink elephants, flying saucers, I even imagined some guy with wings called Garbriel!"
A few weeks later, Mary noticed that she was pregnant.
"My mother would've killed me. She didn't know I drank, let alone going off into the fields with older men. I guess I just said it was a miracle. Well that's was part of one of the crazy visions I had".
Mary's 'white lie' soon went global.
"I had to play along with the whole charade. I didn't know who the real father was. I couldn't disappoint Joe. I'd been with all the local sailor boys from Bethlehem too. Any of them could be the real father - so why not God", shrugged Mary.
She did admit feelings of guilt after the crucifixion of the boy, Jesus.
"I felt bad for the lad, sure", she says, "He really believed all the crap I was spinning. I probably should have told him the truth sooner but I didn't wasn't him to be seen as a b*****d".