Written by Sophie Jayne
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Thursday, 10 April 2008

image for Get Over It America! THEY ARE OURS

Can I just say, Daniel Radcliffe is English and therefore belongs to us! All you American girls that fancy him, get to the back of the line because us English girls have been at the front ever since his cupboard-under-the-stairs days.

Stop getting over exited about him stripping off on Broadway because that is old news! He already revealed his strangely small maggot in the west end (which by the way is in London, England if your American brains don't know.) GET OVER IT.

Stop going on about My Boy Jack. Yes, he has a moustache. Yes he looks soooo good in uniform. Yes he does press ups in a vest. But I have had this on video since November and America are only just airing it. GET OVER IT.

The Harry Potter books/films ain't American, they are English because nothing that good could ever come out of America. Please don't sit there and pretend like you are part of Harry Potter mania because the only thing you are good for is padding out J K Rowling's and Daniel Radcliffe's bank accounts. Harry Potter is a purely English thing. GET OVER IT.

Sorry but you are all going to have to face up to it sooner or later and I know the truth hurts. Daniel Radcliffe WILL end up married to a nice English girl (hopefully me) and all you American girls will end up crying in to your panties, but you will get over it....someday.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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