Ron is in the Hogwarts bathroom pruning his new assset when harry walks in.
Ron: Bloody Hell mate, you scaired the living day nights out of me!
Harry: Sorry Ron, BUT WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN'S SAGGY LEFT NIPPLE IS THAT?
Ron: oh this old thing (pointing to his new curly french mustache) I grew it for my date tonnight I figured that it would turn that Jenny on tonight.
Harry: speaking of fitties, we better get going, we will be late for our double date with Sophie and Jenny. By the way I would shave that thing off. Think about it, when you two are kissing she will bloody well choke on it.
They arrive at the strip club, the chosen destination for their date.
Harry: Oh look there is Sophie and Jenny and may I say they look extremly hot.
(Jenny and Sophie walk up to Harry and Ron dressed only in sparkly bras and thongs)
Ron slaps Jenny on the bottom.
Jenny: oh Ron!(playfully) You look hot with that moosie, I am so turned on!
Sophie: Yeah you do, Harry you should grow one coz from where I am standing, Ron looks hot, I would totally do him.
(Ron looks pleased were as Harry throws him a pissed off look)
Harry: Shall we go in?
Ron: Yeah of course, naked chicks here we come.
(they enter the strip club to see Dumbledore and Molfoy senior dancing around a pole together)
Harry: Oh my fucking god.
Ron: Yeah, is it just me or do they look unbelievably sexy.
Jenny: I was just about to say that and if Ron's mustache didn't look so good I would be jining them o that pole. Ron come on I see a free broom cupboards i want you between my thighs and I want you NOW.
(But before Jenny can get what she wants a flood of girls including Hermione, Ginny and Umbridge head towards ron, boobs out)
Umbrige: Ron you and your mustache are looking so so good. we want to strip you dunk you in chocolate and do things to you that I am sure illegal in some countries.
Jenny: Sorry girls but he is all mine.
Hermione: Ron, we can fire ping pong balls from our vaginas.
Ron: Ladies, ladies I am sure that there is enough to go around. Come along (and with that he leads his 'girls' off to the broom cupbord)
Harry: How the hell does he do that? I am going to grow one if it means I get that much girl attention.
Sophie: Oh Harry (kisses him passionatly)
Harry: (recovering) Sophie, marry me?
Harry: You heard me, I want to spend every breathing second with you.