Washington, DC - At a photo-op today, Presidential candidate John Sidney McCain denounced being called a "wart monger" by talk show host Ed Schultz.
Reporter: "Sir, about what Ed Schultz said ..."
McCain: "I do not even HAVE warts. When I was a kid, we got rid of them the old-fashioned way: washing the wart in the water from an old stump. It really works!"
Reporter: "Thank you, sir. But Schultz called you a WAR monger, not a WART monger."
McCain: "That makes no sense at all. Just because I make jokes about bombing Iran, and predict that the American people won't mind if we stay in Iraq for a century, and publicly state that we'll have more wars if I'm president, and announce that Shiite Iran is a backer of Sunni AlQaeda - that doesn't mean I'm a war monger. I just like to tip my hand a little so you'll be ready when I get my chance to exercise my famous hair-trigger temper.
"Next question, you jerks, and remember - thanks to my vote in the Senate, the President can have done to you what the Vietnamese did to me! Not so brave NOW are you, little reporters? Well, I'm keeping a list and you're on it!"
There were no further questions. Why take a chance?