Written by tzdan
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Sunday, 6 April 2008

image for Come Again, What's That You Say? Old Dr. Seuss Was a Nazi. No Way! "Those Chocolate Chypsies they have no place. They must yield to the superior Gingerbread race."

I hear the new Horton film, it sure is quite slick.
But did you know that its writer was an evil old prick?

'What?' you may say. 'How can that be?'
Well, turns out Dr. Suess was a Nazi, you see.

In a time long ago, before World War Twoses.
He wrote nasty stories, about Gypsies and Jewses.

But with the war over, and his hatreds taboo.
Old Seuss needed something more kosher to do.

So he rewrote his stories, driven purely by greed.
And soon made megabucks, teaching children to read.

But spiteful he was and his hatreds ran deep,
and the original scripts, he forever would keep.

As to never be caught, he hid them away.
In his former attic, in La Jolla, CA.

And there they sat, growing rotten and yellowed.
Until stumbled upon, by a rater nice fellow'd.

By the home's newest tenant, the pages were found.
Rife with hatred, anti-Semitisms abound.

There was Horton Fears a Jew, which should never be told.
Of an elephant who hates all animals surnamed Stein or Gold.

And How the Gypsy Stole Christmas, a story uncouth.
Of a monster stealing Christmas from the good Hitler Youth.

But the worst of the lot, both loathsome and brutish,
was the foul One Fish, Two Fish, do not Trust the Jewfish.

"These manuscripts were vile, that on sight I knew,
to contact the authorities was what I should do."

"Then I boxed them up," said Mr. Flattery Pops.
"And turned the whole mess over to the cops."

With the stories confiscated, now what was to be done?
Whatever it be, it sure couldn't be fun.

"Now, all of these scripts, they are rather quite vile.
So let's gather them up, to burn in a pile."

Said Morty Goldman, of the B'nai B'rith.
"Now who's got a match, to light them up with?"

And the pages were gathered, and all set alight,
'fore concerned citizens and onlookers 'turned home for the night.

But before I go, one last thing I must tell.
So please listen up close, by all means listen well.

Do not take your tots to that new Horton pic.
'cause you're only promoting a sick Nazi dick.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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