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Monday, 31 March 2008

image for Dear Ollie, the Ole Marriage Advisor: Is there such a thing as Fuckin' Somnambulism? Rare case of reading pre- somnambulism

Dear Ollie,

I originally wrote to Dear Abbey about my savage love dilemma but her answer was pretty lame and then Savage Love picked it up and called me a liar.

I am hoping that you, Ollie, the ole marriage advisor will offer me the succor I feel I deserve.

Perhaps you read about my conundrum in the many advice columns that have run my difficulty. But I will quickly retell it.

Wife and I stay over at Mom's due to storm. Wife sleeps alone due to bad cold. Next morning wife thanks me for surprise nightie nookie. Unless I'm a fuckin' somnambulist, it wasn't me.

Three brothers still live with Mom. Must have been one of those fuckers. What now!?



Dear Fuckin' Somnambulist or Miserable Cuckold,

Which would you rather be?

I too have three brothers and if any of those degenerates even shook my wife's hand I'd kill them and her on the spot.

Soooo, if your brothers are anything like mine, and you do not want to commit mass murder, I'm going with the new psycho-sexsual disorder: Fuckin' Somnambulism.

The upside is that this is probably the first time in your miserably cuckolded life that you've been thanked for sex!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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