Once upon a time, in the land of Faraway. Lived a studdly hunk named Jasper Calloway. Now Jasper he was sweet and oh so damn fine, that every girl in town nearly went out of their minds. Jasper couldn't understand, this appeal he had, so one day he had decided to go and ask his dad. 'Now son," his Pa started speaking,"listen well you here. All these women want you, and they want to keep you near. Now boy I don't, you stay around this town. I want you to go to the big city, and mingle with that crowd.'
So young Jasper went to the big town up the way, Oh the lights were so bright it seemed to be mid day. Many women Jasper did meet, so different from back home. Of all the women he could not find one to call his own. So, he went looking deeper, into the seedier parts of town. That is where he found himself a club of much renown. He spent much time there learning all there was to learn. Glad he was to realize he may soon return.
Back home he went to go talk with his Pop. He finally found his one true love, whose name was Lollipop. His dad said,'Son well, bring her home and a married you will be.' Jasper smiled looked up and said, 'Dad I bagged a queen.' So off to tell his Lollipop young Jasper did that day. Lollipop looked so good in drag, that Daddy doesn't know he's gay.
The preacher man was confused about what he saw before him, he blurted out, a bit to loud, 'This should be on TheSpoof forum.' But continue with wedding that fine preacher did, not knowing how to explain to Pa about his homo kid. But pa he did love his son as any father would. He just looked at his son and said he understood. "I have seen the women in this town and the one over yonder. Even though I love your ma homosexuality I did ponder. Me and Jeb are the best of friends, the best that you can count on. That's why I never told your Ma that we loved Brokeback Mountain.