HYPCRITES (Helping Your Prayers to Christ Receive Infinite Treasures Extended by our Saviour): Your Christian Conservative watchdog has received its marching orders from the Conservative Southern Baptist Convention. You may remember that the Southern Baptists split from the Baptist religious movement in order to defend the biblical and moral righteousness of involuntary human servitude. Well, we HYPCRITES have come a long way since those days of protecting the southern way of life. We now have declared ourselves GREEN!
Yes, as GREEN or more than that greener than green Gore. We now believe that our Lord and Saviour and his Daddy Yahweh want us to be good stewards of the same earth we religiously raped and pillaged in their holy names(Somebody say: Amen!). We wuz just obeyin the literal interpretation of the Genesis verse about subduin the earth and goin forth and multiplying(and God knows we did enjoy both the subduin and the especially the multiplying!)
Now, however we see that the divine revelation is calling us to keep ole Mother earth alive fo just a few mo years while we wait fo the rapture. Fo some reason, the return of our Saviour and Lord has been delayed. We know this by the startling and surprising fall of a good Christian crusader like GW Bush and the even mo surprising and startling rise of the two-headed Anti-Christs predicted in the Book of Revelations. This Beast with two backs (words put into Shakespeare's mouth by the LNSJC) will only have its time to rule the earth and then God's people will, like the South, rise again.
In the meantime and it will be mean under the rule of the AntiChrists, we must preserve the earth so we have enough oil to drive to Church and conduct our righteous business subduing the earth and OH, Yes multiplying!!!