Written by walter
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Tags: flies, ring, stud

Saturday, 15 March 2008

As the saying goes, 'Life flies and the rest is lies'. To make life worthwhile, we need a press stud. Yes, that cute hollow with a seat to allow insertion of the head of the mushroom until it reaches a tighter part when a ring snaps into a groove and momentarily anxieties are released.

Having reached that point of reasoning, I imagined meeting Jonathan Swift, the great satirist of 260 years ago. When I asked him why he was 'chiefly disgusted with modern history' or saying that the world has been misled by prostitute writers, or admiration has been bestowed upon cowards, fools, flatterers, sodomites, informers, villains, whores, pimps, parasites, and buffoons.', he chose to remain silent; I read from his expression that he and I were both sick and deranged.

When I persistently demanded an explanation for this change of heart, he said he was misled by dead philosophers. He continued," We are a member of the animal kingdom, and as such not much different from them all. Stealing, treachery, adultery, murder, etc are norms rather than exceptions. For instance, Nature or a similar entity is engaged in massive orgasm. Therefore, when we, collectively, reach orgasm, it is he or she that reaches a much greater orgasm, a sum of all orgasms, and the best orgasm is reached when you sleep with your neighbor's wife or husband.

"This entity, just like a galaxy, is comprised of all its members, from seaweed to man. I cannot explain what soul is but I can tell you what its sister is. To understand what I mean, you need to remember your elementary school science when your teacher placed a lit candle in front of a mirror or a lens to reproduce another lit candle, image, in the focus. Images, light energy or electromagnetic radiation, travel fast. Sometimes, the source, the body, is lost but the image keeps moving on.

"Every second, we produce images sent to space where they all are magnetically attracted to a gigantic entity, a mosaic or collage, comprised of all dead or alive creatures of the earth. This entity is very egocentric and needs nothing but reproduction of its creatures for a simple incentive: orgasm. This ruthless entity has no occupation but trembling with an overall orgasm prompted by individual creatures, the greater their number, the more intensive the orgasm. When he or she reaches climax, the entity releases liquids such as floods, when it quivers, gives us earthquakes, and when sighs, tornados. Sometimes it crushes creatures when drops its hands or kicks around. He/she enjoys wars!

"I should have joined those whom I ridiculed. My advice to you petty nagging fellow is go get rich and move to 'Hollow-weed' where you can insert the mushroom in the velvety warm hollow of any woman you may chose and do the stud job in person. If you fail to do so, then sleep with your wife but fornicate with their images. If you have no wife or partner, then import the images, and digitally remain his or her humble servant. In any case, satisfaction guaranteed!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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