Written by Tiki Murphy
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Saturday, 8 March 2008

image for Smoking Ban Forces Smokers to Go To Hell. I want it, when I want it, and where I want it.

It has become apparent that by the time everything is all said and done, smokers will only have one place to go. Oh, sure we could make for a mass immigration to other countries, but America is like a woman, she will force everyone to see her point of view. Which means eventually, just to shut her up, all the other countries will ban smoking as well. That means the only safe place left for us smokers is to go to hell. Now I would prefer that the non smokers go to hell, but at least we'll never be without a light.

Oh, in case you are wondering, yes I am a smoker. I don't appreciate the ban. I agree some places don't need to have people smoking, like places with litte kids. But have you ever wanted to light up in church? Especially around Communion. You got your music (choir), alcohol (wine), and smokes. It's like an uptight singles bar.

But I digress, I predict that with in a few years, or maybe even months (cross your fingers), they will realize they have to give us some place to smoke. I mean, I will feel so bad for my husband (also a smoker), because then it will be nice fitting and pmsing all at once. And he will have nowhere to go to unwind. This could be fun. Oh, you think I am bitchy now, wait until I haven't had a cigarette in like 15 minutes.

So, in conclusion, I guess it's a good thing that I will probably go to hell. Although it'll be a mean and nasty trick if I don't. Do they have a smoking section heaven?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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