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Tuesday, 4 March 2008

image for Poor Dick's Almanac Tries to Cuntinue! Remember, when one's dick is thin as one's finger, there are few who would lay down with thee

Many estates are spent in the getting, since women for tea forsook spinning and knitting, and men for punch forsook hewing and splitting. Now, women return to spinning and men love hoeing again.

What maintains one vice would bring up two children. And the children grow up to double the vices forsook

Fools make feasts and wise men eat them. And freeloaders are wise and the generous get filched who dainties love shall beggars prove. Beware the nick-knack!

You may think, perhaps, that a little tea, or a little punch now and then, diet a little more costly, clothes a little finer, and a little more entertainment now and then can be no great matter but remember what Poor Richard says "Many a little makes a mickle;And all ye shouldst crave the mickle!?

Beware of little expense for a small leak will sink a great ship. But taking a great leak can be a great relief!

Buy what thou has no need of and ere long thou shall sell thy necessaries. But necessaries are the mother of invention and selling ye mother is really, really illin'

Silks and satins, scarlet and velvets have put out the kitchen fire. But yon fire extinguisher works an abundance better!

A child and a fool imagine twenty shillings and twenty years can never be spent. Yea but behold Kurt Schilling has spent his joints and bones but now has many more shillings than a fool or a child

To be humble to superiors is duty, to equals courtesy, to inferiors nobleness. in other words:

Kiss thy bosses arse
Snuggle with thy cubicle mate
Plough yon cleaning lady

After crosses and losses
Men grow humbler and wiser.
Yet Crucifixion leave most deader
and loss columns support no roof

The proud hate pride --- in others.
Just AskFrFred44giveness

Pride dines on Vanity, sups on Contempt.
And throws up all over itself and others

Pride breakfasted with Plenty
Dined with poverty
Supped with Infamy.
Midnight snacked before porno flicks
and slept till noon

Blame-all and Praise-all are two blockheads.
So that was Charlie Brown's problem

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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