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Friday, 8 February 2008

image for AskFrFred44giveness: Happy Chocolate Wednesday! FrFrederick the Great Titslesin's fickle finger of reward and punishment

Dear Faithful readers, Here am I your very own Very Reverend Fr Frederick the Great Titslesin, back and better after a 6 month hiatus from a hiatal hernia and a bit of healing 4 anger resolution rehab (ANGRRR!)

Your very Rev benefited tremendously from the new anger resolution rehab. I had been sent by my "superiors"( or so they dream) to many "retreats" 4 anger management. None of these frauds work a wit. The new therapy however did the trick.

ANGRRR teaches that all of our rage is real and legitimate and most importantly caused by the pitiful shortcomings of our inferiors.I found this new message so freeing that when I was released (I mean, when I regretfully departed), I decided to celebrate my new life of justified hostility by anointing all who approached me at the altar on the traditional Ash Wednesday with a generous smudge of chocolate gounache.

The ancient words of anointing with ashes has been: From dust you came, to dust you shall return.

The joy of my new rewarded rage transformed that dictum to Cocoa powder from your birth, to Chocolate fondue at your passing. The best part of the Choco-fest is once people hear they will be blessed with such a sweet unction they approach you with gladness instead of the fear-riddled suspicion of the old ash ritual.

God, how much fun it is to surprise the recipients you like with a finger full of chocolate sweetness and to shock your unsuspecting enemies with a thumb in the eye!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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