Written by Ed E. Druckman
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Friday, 25 January 2008

(Greenwich-England) As of 2009, Greenwich Mean Time will be changed to a new, more accurate standard ...Flava Flav Time. Peace out

(Atlanta-GA) Former Presidential adviser and generally good-looking, balding hunk Karl Rove took a job as an image consultant for beleaguered Atlanta Flacon Michel "Throw Me A Bone" Vick. Said Rove on his new job with the quarterback, "Working with a guy this unpopular sure brings back memories."

(New Orleans-LA) With hurricane season in full swing, nerves were frayed at the Baton Rouge weather center 2AM yesterday morning when a tornado seemed to be bearing down on New Orleans French Quarter. However, it was later determined to be a false alarm. Lindsay Lohan was just out for an early morning crash.

(Washington, D.C.) In a related note, the Department of Homeland Security issued an upgraded Terror Level for New Orleans to Orange when it was rumored by Lohan's publicist that she might, in fact, be driving there in the next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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