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Saturday, 12 January 2008

image for Republican Ron Paul hunts Japanese Whaling fleet Enterprising consumer of whale products

Republican Ron Paul embarks on a voyage with environmentalist on the Nautilus ship to track down the Japanese whaling fleet in the Southern Ocean.

It was a foggy morning when the Yushin Maru and its whaling fleet appeared out of nowhere. Tensions began to soar as the two opposing ships prepared for what seemed a frightening sea battle.

The Yushin Maru visible to the naked eye with graffiti and endorsements on its haul that read, "RESEARCH", "YUSHIN MARU RESTURANT", "TOYOTA SOFTWARE CORP" and "LAST DAY IN HELL", is the first ship to clear the fog.

As the Yushin Maru crossed the path of the Nautilus, Ron Paul surfaced from the bridge and gave a dreadful grin to the crew of the Yushin Maru.

The Japanese captain of the Yushin Maru signals his spotter boats to circle the Nautilus while at the same time his whaling fleet begins a hasty escape into the open ocean.

The Nautilus manages to break free of the Japanese spotter boats; it then heads in the opposite direction of the whaling fleet, successfully losing the spotter boats. Later the Nautilus finds itself with the Japanese fleet again, as they are preparing to harpoon minke whales.

The game of cat and mouse comes to its end as the crew of the Nautilus makes a final effort to save the herd of minke whales that are desperately trying to scamper away from the harpooners.

Ron Paul says, "The challenge for us now is to foil this whale hunt so our mammal brethren can break free from an agonizing slaughter".

Like an experienced hunter, Ron Paul quickly pulls out a large elephant rifle loaded with darts that carry a radioactive liquid. He then shoots into the surfacing whales, and manages to dart over twenty-five minke whales while the Nautilus is in pursuit of the harpooners.

The Yushin Maru and its fleet quickly retreats after the captain notices Ron Paul's radioactive darts striking their quarry. "It appears evil consumers of whale meat won't be dinning on whale flesh any time soon", said Ron.

The radioactive material injected into the whales also enters their offspring, creating what seems a continuous cycle of protection for the whales.

Environmentalist speculate that an early death for the whales is of no great importance because they give birth to descendants that will eventually develop immunity to the radioactive contamination.

The Japanese have large poultry farms, fresh water fish farms, fresh water prawn farms, salt water fisheries, salt water shrimp and mollusk fisheries, cattle ranches, sheep and goat ranches, quail, turkey and duck farms, egg farms and a huge dairy industry to satisfy their need for protein. Whale meat has the most unpleasant flavor that is fishy and oily.

It is a bad attempt by the Japanese fishing industry to force rich Japanese consumers to become adapted to an untapped protein source.

If Japanese fishermen were to get whaling competition from foreign countries it would reduce the cost effectiveness of tapping into an unwanted protein source.

The whaling activity of Japanese fishermen is based on their unconscionable greed, when they take advantage of the compassion the world has for whales when the world refuses to hunt whales.

If unchecked, businessmen in Japan would also sell the flesh of Japanese people to satisfy the pallets of foreign customers.

In our final interview that day, Ron Paul says he does not meet, eye-to-eye with the Japanese because they decided to hunt minke and fin whales in a bogus research scheme to secretly haul in whale meat for sale in the North Korean markets.

Ron Paul then asked the public for help in donating money to environmental groups dedicated to saving endangered sea faring mammals.

"If we lose these wonders of the natural world, our children will never experience what we have seen in our life time", says Ron Paul.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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