Written by norma snockers

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Wednesday, 2 January 2008

image for My Embarrassing Name "Storm in a D CUP!"

For more than 25 years I've been through sheer hell and I thought it very cruel of my parents to call me Norma, particularly having the surname Snockers. I can't think of anything more hurtful (except having the surname Snickers) and it was typical reflection of my dad's sense of humour. However, that turned out to be a storm in a D cup after I met a man who had been through the same problems.

He was Ed Balls. Ed has climbed the ladder from a humble primary school teacher to Children, Schools and Families Secretary to the Government.

He told me: "When I was at school, things were really tough - each morning when the register was called, although I was there, I wouldn't answer, and the teacher would shout out Balls! She called 3 times before moving on. It was a scream for all the other pupils, but a nightmare for the teacher. In her frustration, she would send me off to Willie Caynum, the headmaster; who would ask me my name - when I said "Balls Mr Caynum!" He thought I was being rude and would cane me. Look! My bum is like a ploughed field!"

He then told me "I had a stroke of good luck though, because I was born on an island in Thailand. When the headmaster said "what's your name?" I replied "Balls Mr Caynum" and then he asked where I was born and I replied "Phucket Sir" Caynum sent me to a psychologist because he thought that I had Tourette's syndrome.

You've no idea how Mr Balls has changed my life?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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