New Delhi, India: Today, I was told of a Nun, working as a missionary in Calcutta, who was bitten by a Black Mamba. Sadly, within minutes the poor woman died and went to heaven (as Nuns often do, provided they keep their habits clean!).
As St. Peter was processing her, she heard a woman screaming in pain. She looked in a room and saw a group of angels drilling holes in the woman's shoulders to fasten the wings to her. These angels were known as a 'hole host'.
Then she heard a man screaming and saw the same 'hole host' of angels drilling holes in his head to fasten a halo to him. His name was Edward and had been a Psychologist who was murdered by one of his clients.
St. Peter explained to the Nun that. "From now on he would be called HALLOWED."
The heavenly gatekeeper explained: "You see, everything up here has to be clean, pure and Holy"
"I don't want to go to heaven," she cried to St. Peter.
"I'll go to the other place."
"You want to go to hell?" he replies.
"They rape and sodomize you down there."
"I don't care," she answered. "At least I already have holes for that!"