Written by Noshing Mink
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Tuesday, 18 December 2007

In the last installment, I was rescued from an angry tree by Jane of the Jungle but didn't get any. In this episode, we discover the dinosaurs

"No, I won't sleep with you", said Veronica, the feisty blond jungle girl, for the umpteenth time, as we collected the rock specimens and started to make our way back to the treehouse that had become our home for the past few days. That was when we heard the loud roar and the jungle seemed to shake.

"Oh shit", she added, an expression of sheer terror crossing her face.

"What is it?" asked Challenger.

"The natives call it the Thunder God. Or one of them"
, said the blonde beauty.

"And what do you call it?" asked Summerly kindly, swatting a fly the size of his hand.

"A Tyrannosaurus Rex."

"That's strange", I volunteered. "We also call it …" But I never got to finish my sentence, as suddenly a gigantic creature full of teeth and claws crashed through the trees into the clearing where we had been sitting. It took one look at our fleeing bodies and decided to give chase. I hadn't imagined I would ever see a dinosaur before, let alone be chased by one. But fortunately, cowardice took over and I was soon sprinting ahead of the others, yelling "See you later, suckas".

Mathematics tells you that when you are being chased by a 50 foot creature on two legs, the chances are pretty good that it will catch up with you fairly soon, and this one certainly did. Well, almost. We ran out of the jungle and found ourselves staring into a precipice that separated us from a river. Not pausing to consider what large-teethed monsters dwelt in the wet climes below, we leapt, feeling the hot, rancid breath of the carnivore as it breathed down angrily at us.

With a mighty splash, we hit the water 200 foot down. I wondered for a second whether dinosaurs could swim, or dive, or both, but fortunately this one didn't want to get its feet wet. Besides, there were many more easier to catch prey than us in the jungle. As I went down, swallowing litres of dirty water no doubt infected with all kinds of bacteria, I remembered thinking:

"God, I wish I'd taken those swimming lessons."

In the next thrilling episode, we find ourselves captured by lizard men.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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