Written by Linguini
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 23 April 2004

image for Move Israel Next to Crawford, Texas! "New Israel Next to Crawford, Texas? Oh, my G.d! Cheney, Dick, where are you? Pronto, pronto!"

Last night at a pub (a very drunken one), the lone Jew in the bar erupted,

"I've got a great solution to the Middle East mess, - not just the one Cheney and Sons put us into last year, - no I'm talking about the one the U.N. put us into in 1948 when it created the State of Israel, thereby royally pissing off to this day all of the Surrounding Arabs.

"Instead of having Israel in Palestine, let's move it lock, stock, and barrel, to just outside of George W's hometown of Crawford, Texas! Give the Israelies just about everything they want as long as they all move there leaving Palestine to Yasser Arafat with no Israelies to fight.

"Boy, that'll start all the Arabs fighting each other, not Americans or Europeans. End of Middle East Conflict as we know it."

"Contract with New Israel to develop synthetic fuel substitutes for our vehicles. They're smart, and make their stay here contingent on them doing the job right and making us independent from Arab Oil. Hey, if the Israelies can come from all over the world and set up shop in Israel in 1948, they can do it again about 40 years or so later in New Israel just outside of Crawford, Texas. What a wonderful reminder to George W. in his later years of how he successfully bombed Iraq with no end game in sight or mind."

- to which the bartender scoffingly replied,

"Moving Israel to Crawford, Texas, makes as much sense as George W. having gone to war with Iraq in the first place!"

"Exactly," replied a fellow (sober) patron, "If you're for the war, you're for New Israel near Crawford, Texas: it's the only viable solution left other than Endless Quagmire in Muslimland!"

to which the remaining patrons, albeit drunk, breathed a collective sad sigh of relief and said in unison, "Oh S..t! He's right!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

78 readers are online right now!

Go to top