10. Get a life.
9. Take up intravenous drug use, again.
8. Attend those AA meetings everybody has been talking to you about.
7. Have that compulsory repetitive motion disorder that you call writing looked at by a physician.
6. Pay attention to your spouses needs; only to discover she's been having an affair - And all this time you thought her silence was her tacit approval of your Spoof writing.
5. Learn the first names of all your kids; or at least try to find out which ones are really yours.
4. Return to straining your relationships with all your co-workers, friends and family
with your Spoofs. Which you alone think in the empire of your mind are concise,
clever and insightful witticisms, but what they are too polite (or afraid) to say to your
face that they regard as dull, dimwitted monologues, expressing sociopath overtones
of abandonment and an unhealthy obsession with exterior validation.
3. Get laid.
2. Stay home and play Hello Kitty, or say hi to Rosie Palm and her five sisters.
1. Do what you were doing before you discovered TheSpoof.com, surf the Worldwide
Web for free porn!