Written by Crux of the Biscuit
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Tags: English

Monday, 19 November 2007

The new chief of the tribe, Tongue-Without-Shame, spoke first, using the broken English his for-fathers used in the televised western serials of long ago.

"Medicine Man resign - him pursue other interests. Wish best of luck in future endeavors."

The council of wise men nodded slowly. The newest member of the council, Voice-in-Wind , spoke next.

"Powerful Medicine Man in tribe across river. We go to him, make offer."

The War Chief, Knives-to-Spare, offered his assessment. "Him want too much, not board certified. Secret war program cost more than projected. New medicine man can wait."

Voice-in-Wind was puzzled. "Which secret war program - Stealth Canoe?"

"No" Knives-to-Spare replied, " National Chicken Defense. Still not throw chickens high enough. Chickens fall from sky without arrows in them."

Voice-in-Wind considered this news carefully. "Raiding party attack lodge last night, shoot arrows in my brother's ass - him not safe like war chickens. Who will provide medicine?" There were murmurs among the elders, whom all relied on the Medicine Man and had secret misgivings about the 'Sky Chickens' strategy.

Tongue-Without-Shame brought the Counsel back to order. "We must consider Big Picture. Last night's raid prove need for Sky Chickens. Must sacrifice needs of sick for benefit of all."

Another elder, Wrapped-in-Flag, offered his solution.

"Tribe open casino for sick people. Winner see doctor across river at reduced rate. Remaining proceeds go to Sky Chickens research."

The counsel elders all nodded their approval.

Voice-in-Wind was unconvinced, but who could argue with Wrapped-In-Flag? Finally he voiced his misgivings.

"Sick people desperate, spend all wampum at casino. Most not win, now sick and poor. What of them?"

Tongue-Without-Shame rose to end the Council. He had become impatient with Voice-In-Wind, who was certainly no patriot.

"If losers leave casino sick and poor, then it their own damned fault."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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