Written by CTroop
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Tags: drunk, F-word

Saturday, 10 November 2007

I want to sincerely commend the folks who claim that they have never used the "F" word. I would also like to commend those who claim to have not used it until later in their adult lives. I had never used it myself until I was well past the age of three - but only because I was drunk.

But seriously, I have personally come to think of the "F" word as just another word. It has lost its zap! It no longer has any power in it. It has just become a common-place word with no pizzazz.

I believe that most people my age might feel the same way, and I think this is true mostly because the "F" word has been so overly used. For example, the movies. Let's face it, I doubt if Hollywood would even consider using a script unless it contained frequent use of the "F" word by every character in the film - including the extras!

Even Disney movies.

We must admit, the "F" word is probably one of the most versatile words in the English Language. It can be used as a noun, as a verb, as an adjective, and yes, the "F" word can even be used as adverbs and prepositions!

I will not cite any examples at this time, but believe me, I am a very prolific and skilled writer and I know how to use the "F" word! And yes, that includes verbal presentations.

I think it all started in the mid to late 50s. Do you remember J.D. Salinger's "The Catcher In The Rye?" Do you remember Holden Caulfield? He gave an entire presentation of that ancient, but ever effective answer to every difficult argument: The "F" word, followed by the word, "YOU!"

Trust me on this. I have shut the mouths of many people who have tried to debate with me on just about every issue you can think of. Issues such as, World Hunger, The Fair Trade Agreement, International Peace, Theology, Penis Enlargement and even Bowling!

It would get to the point where I could only take so much of listening to the results of all their years of education and academic research (and other such meaningless rhetoric), when I would just get right up in their smug, smart-ass, over-educated faces, and say, "...OH YEAH? WELL, "F"-- YOU BUDDY!"

Now, as to flipping people off, well, I am old enough to remember when "flipping people off" was once thought of (through-out the United States and half of Europe) as "The Salute of The Southern California Motorist." And let me tell you, a lot of Californians took a great deal of pride in this!

I was one of them.

Now, I could be wrong, but I don't think you could even get your Learner's Permit with the DMV until you could demonstrate the ability to "flip-off" another motorist (with either hand). And that was WITH the vehicle in motion!

Of course we didn't have the technological vocabulary back then that we do now, so in those days, we
just called it, "...giving the finger..." Somehow that evolved into "...flipping the bird..." And now, it's just called, "...flipping people off..." There's not really much power in that either.

But, California motorists don't really do that much any more. Very rarely do you see it on our public streets and free-ways, and if you do see somebody flipping off, they're usually doing it all wrong.

It's a lost art.

Now they participate in something we call, "Road Rage" and shooting at each other with automatic weapons! Now I ask you, in all honesty, don't you think the good old "Finger" was a much better program?

I do.

You know, I'm going to make a confession. When I consider the state of our country today, and I take a really good look at our legislators (at every level), and all of the candidates who are now running for the office of the President of the United States . . . .

I tell you, the "F" word is the only fucking word I can think of!

CT

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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