Written by Deanna Goodson
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Tags: cult

Monday, 12 April 2004

Now, I am a patient woman. Well, as patient as anyone is in the technological, instant gratification age in which we live.

I have been waiting months for this William Hung travesty of celebrity to be over. I mean, really. If this little guy can become a celebrity what is going to happen to the cult of celebrity, of which I am a solid adherent?

Does that mean that anyone could become a celebrity? Perish the thought. Celebrities have certain channels to follow like the Mickey Mouse Club and bad sitcoms where they have feathery hair and wear braces.

How much time and energy has William Hung put into his celebrity. He hasn't sweat fame, dreamed it like J. Lo did when her butt wasn't fully formed yet. No. He wasn't taking dance lessons at the age of 3 like poor Britney Spears or going on cable access TV to sing like Christina Aguilera.

No. He didn't pay his dues as a dancer in New York like Madonna or on crappy Australian soap operas like Natalie Imbruglia or Kylie Minogue.

I mean, was he the fresh-faced little boy in Menudo who had the cute little nickname of KiKi. NO!!!!

Did he star on General Hospital for several seasons and take his shirt off on cue?

Did he take over the grammys and make Rosie O'Donnell, a known lesbian, swoon over him?

NO!!! NO!!!! NO!!!!

William Hung has ridden on the coattails of Ricky Martin. He sings all of Ricky's classics --badly. He is just a cheesy knock off of a cheesy real guy. It's not right.

Ricky, come back to us and reclaim your throne. Knock William Hung back into obscurity. Swivel your hips and pout your lips. Don't let Menudo die in vain. Please, Ricky?

This article in no way shape or form reflects the opinions of the Spoof or even the writer or Ricky Martin or anybody really. It was certainly not paid for by Citizens for Ricky Martin. Nope. Not at all.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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