Houston, NASA - According to official reports from Nasa, Astronaut Scott Parazynski successfully completed his repair of The International Space Station on Saturday without incident.
However, The Spoof has learned that the repairs did not go as planned and that Astronaut Parazynski was exposed to electricity in space which, as predicted, gave him Super-Powers.
In an exclusive interview with former Astronaut Scott Parazynski The now God-like being spoke to us in an echoey voice which shook loose objects to the floor and woke us from a sound sleep.
Parazynski: Writers of The Spoof! Can you hear me?
The Spoof: Yes, we hear you! Please stop shaking our building!
The Spoof: Can we assume from your echoey voice, that you now have Super-Powers?
Parazynski: Yes. I do everything real fast. I'm strong, and I can also do the Voice.
The Spoof: Why did you choose The Spoof to tell your story?
Parazynski: Because I knew you guys would tell the truth! The Government is trying to cover the whole thing up!
The Spoof: So, what do you have to say to the People of Earth?
Parazynski: I just wanted to say... goodbye!
The Spoof: You're leaving? But we need you! We have War! Famine! Disease!
Parazynski: Sorry, but I'm on an important mission.
The Spoof: And what IS your important mission, former Astronaut Parazynski?
Parazynski: I'm going to search every planet in the universe...
The Spoof: For what? Life?
Parazynski: No! For Hot Alien Women!
The Spoof: Then good luck to you ... Super-Parazynski!
And with a loud whooshing sound, former Astronaut Scott Parazynski left the Earth forever. To seek his destiny among the stars on his cosmic booty call.