Written by Ron Cote
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Tags: Tank

Tuesday, 30 October 2007

image for Solving the world's problems-as seen from the filler neck of a gas tank Getting ready for the picnic

I now have a total perspective on world problems, so pay attention!

First, look at some facts, like Usama bin Laden. The first three letters of his name are USA. That is prophetic. The there's Obama where the first three letters are OBA, meaning One Black American (running for pres.) That too is right out of prophecy!

On a different matter, oil and gas. After complete study, I determined that all of the world's ills are related to oil and gas. They are produced from dead things, dead plants and animals that under pressure and other factors turn into oil and gas reserves. Just as you have oily skin and gas while you are alive, this becomes oil and gas when you die. So when you fill your gas tank, think about it.

Which then leads us to Usama. He is from a family of 57 children and has 27 of his own. He is doing his part to populate the world so that there can be more dead things to become oil and gas for the future wealth and well being of Arabs. Now he and Hitler, Pol Pot, Saddam, Chemical Ali, Stalin and others have taken a bad rap. They were all good business men, visionaries really, merely looking out to the future and the anticipated need for oil and gas. By reducing populations they were assuring a sufficiency of oil and gas for us and future generations. They were sacrificing other humans and we are the beneficiaries. How unselfish can one get?

There's a myth that we need to become energy independent. Well, sir, even though there's tons of it in Alaska, we are not to get it there because it would disturb the lemmings and ptarmigan and caribou. We can't have that. And alternative forms of energy are so impractical. Who wants a windmill on the top of his Toyota or having to tow a trailer full of solar panels. Doesn't make sense. Makes less sense to use oil and gas to produce ethanol.

Getting back to Usama, we can't catch him. What a feeble excuse for our intelligence agencies. Why, all you have to do is track him by GPS with his bus loads of kids when they go on a family picnic. IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE. Now he is training thousands of Muslims to become suicide bombers. As much as he would like to be a martyr and suicide bomber himself, he can't because he has to be around to train others. What a sacrifice he is willing to make! He is not doing this as an act of terrorism, but as a business venture to resupply oil and gas reserves with the necessary dead things.

Now, tell me, who can argue with this sound logic?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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