10. The phrase "go to Hell" is received as a message of hope
9. Travel agents are booking holidays to restaurant's walk-in freezers
8. the national anthem is changed to the ice cream truck song
7. City shootings escalate not due to gang violence but in response to people saying "Hot enough for ya there, buddy?"
6. Ice cream bars replace cigarettes as currency in prisons
5. Local hospitals have to open up a new Slurpee Brain Freeze Unit
4. Sitting on iceblocks no longer the sole domain of infertile males
3. People found re-reading the 14th time, "Harry Potter and the Air Conditioner from Frigidaire"
2. Local dogs trained to fetch Sno-Cones
1. Constant regret for flipping Old Man Winter the bird