Written by Ben Macnair

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Tags: Money, rich, Stupid

Saturday, 13 October 2007

The ACME Custard and Blood Extractor

Yellow water in a Flask

Invisible Ink in its own Invisible Pen

Answer machine for dog whistles

The 'Are we nearly there yet?'

The directionless pushme-pullyou.

The 'It's so wrong even Rolf Harris can't tell what it is yet'

The Ralph Mctell Gangster Rap album.

Kitchen Music (A more aggressive version of Lounge music).

Utility room music (A more laid back Kitchen music).

The Bottomless glass.

Brown grass for the other side.

Kermit the Frog pop socks.

Ghost detector - Only works in Igloos.

Heat proof Igloos.


A 9 legged Octopus

Mr Jones the light house keeper - My Story

The Daily Mail special edition - Are the Royal Family Asylum seekers? - The proof.

The barrel bottom of Jeremy Kyle's career.

Toilet roll tubes - already empty for all of your Blue Peter based needs.

Basil Brush in a Tube - Boom, Boom Mr Derek

Jellyfish Bones

A full set of Hen's Teeth.

Rocking Horse Poo - Ideal fertiliser.

A CD Player that only plays bland music.

The cutting edge music that Woolworth's sells.

The secret of eternal life, but not eternal youth.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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