I recently met with acclaimed British comedienne and actress Dawn French. I tried to talk about the new series that she's made with long-time comedy partner Jennifer Saunders. I tried but failed.
JOEY: Dawn, thanks for doing this interview. You have a new sketch show that's started on BBC1. Are you excited?
DF: I like my food.
JOEY: Um, that's not what I asked but okay.
DF: Do you have a problem with people of a larger size?
JOEY: No, I'm here to talk about your TV show.
DF: What's wrong with doing an ad for Terry's Chocolate Orange?
JOEY: Nothing. I didn't even mention it.
DF: I love chocolate.
JOEY: So do I. Can we get back to the series? It's called A Bucket O' French & Saunders.
DF: Yes, like a bucket of chicken from KFC. I think it's a very witty title, showing how I don't care if people know I love my food.
JOEY: Uh, alright…The series features old and new sketches. How was it getting back together with Jennifer to do the new sketches?
DF: Does the subject of me loving food bother you?
JOEY: I'm not really here to talk about your love of food or otherwise. I'm here to talk about your TV show.
DF: I bet you hated the chocolate ad when I said "They're not Terry's, they're mine." I came up with that line. It was me telling the world I'm large and happy and I don't care who knows it.
JOEY: Absolutely. There's nothing wrong with that. But I would like to get back to your TV show if we can, please.
DF: Did you see the Alison Moyet music video I appeared in?
JOEY: It was a number of years ago. I remember the song.
DF: Did that bother you?
JOEY: Sorry? Why would it bother me? It was a good song.
DF: I'm talking about the video. I worked long and hard on it.
JOEY: I see.
DF: Alison invited me to appear in her video and I was delighted to accept. She allowed me complete freedom in my ideas. I spent a long weekend working on them. The video was one of my finest comedy moments
JOEY: You'll have to remind me what you did, it was a long time ago that I saw it.
DF: Alison sings the song in the foreground…
DF: And in the background, I run around in a comical way.
DF: That's it.
JOEY: That's it?
JOEY: You run around in the background?
DF: In a comical way.
JOEY: In a comical way, of course. I see…What can fans expect from the new sketches?
DF: I play Amy Winehouse in one sketch but with a hilarious twist.
JOEY: That sounds great. Please tell me more. What's the twist?
DF: It's Amy Winehouse…
DF: But large.
JOEY: That's it, I give up.
DF: "They're not Terry's, they're mine."