Written by Lance Boil
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Tuesday, 18 September 2007

LANCE BOIL REVIEWS THE WEEKS CD'S

James Blunt 'All The Lost Souls'

James Blunt returned to the fray with a single '1973', which is apparently the amount of women that he's used since the success of 'You're Beautiful.' Elsewhere the singing is so ludicrous and frantic that it makes one imagine that the pole in his posterior has been knocked in another inch or two.

50 Cent 'Curtis'

50 Cent's continued exclamations that he remains 'gangsta' sound a little hollow on his new disc, as he promises an enemy that he will 'pop him like a champagne cork.' Kids will love 'Amusement Park', which continues the child friendly themes first laid down in 'Candy Shop.'

Hells Housekeepers 'The Never Ending Story Of Pain'

These genial deathcoredoomers continue their thought provoking lyrical themes with a concept album devoted to a maggot eating into diseased human flesh. The music sounds duly apocolyptic, and apparently Satan dropped in to lend a hand on bass. This metal shows no signs of - drum roll please - rusting.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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