July 19, 2006, was the most memorable date for Angela Merkel, a divorcee with no children, at Group of Eight Summit, when George W. Bush stealthily crept behind her and gave her an unsolicited neck rub while she was speaking with Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi.
She happened to be the only female at the table. Well, this action earned Bush several titles including "Groper in Chief". As soon as the video was played in internet or TVs, Angela Merkel's phone rang:
- Hello, Angel, this is Laura, Laura Bush.
- Guten Morgen Frau Laura Bush.
- Hello? Hello? Chancellor Angela Merkel's residence?
- Sorry, 1st Lady Laura. How are you at this hour.
- What time is it over there?
- Es ist drei, morgen.
- Three in the morning.
- Oh my gosh. Wee small hours! I am so sorry.
- OK. Never mind. Was kann ich für Sie machen? I mean, 'what can I do for you?'
- Just wanted to say hello and extend my sincere apology for the rude behavior of my husband, George.
- Well, Laura, it is the prerogative of the victor.
- Angela, please!
- Has he caused you the same embarrassment as Bill Clinton caused for Hillary?
- Oh, that type of embarrassment? No; no. It doesn't apply here; George is not like Bill and you are not… (Oops)
- You mean I am no match for Monica? Laura, ich kenne das. I know that. There is something, I mean, that chemistry which is missing in me. Actually I studied physical chemistry to discover this phenomenon for myself. But ended up nowhere. Wonder if you as one of the 1st Ladies can help me out.
- You mean what makes Monicas Monica? Angel, they have lips that move in a mysterious way. Strange thing is men like Clinton associate them with the thing, you know what I mean, of course, if turned 90 degrees. The bright ruby red lipstick augments the magic effect. Next, comes the sparkling eye in a chubby face. Then, the accompanied smile and that mesmerizing tilt of the head. All these squeeze a spot down men's abdomen, i.e. excreting the chemistry. I am glad Bush lacks that chemistry spot and I don't wish to run for the senate or the presidency as compensation. Over.
- OK. Apology accepted. Auf Wiedersehen